This year have tested all of us to a degree unknown to us, our mothers, and sisters. Not only have we seen our lives, our “normal”, being ripped away but we have also lost contact with our customer, friends, and family. We have seen businesses, with proud histories, close and the number of unemployed people is increasing daily.
It became easy to let our heads hang, hide behind our masks, and feel self-pity – but as women we know we need to lift our heads. We know that the wellness of our house (our community, our business) depends on how well we are. Women are the heartbeat of society!
So, lift you head, get out there and start (re)building your confidence. As we are approaching Women’s Month, let us stand tall and take on this challenge with a “Can Do” attitude. It is vital to your own wellness that you now invest time in self-care. Caring for yourself is not selfish but is an attempt to care for your inner circle as well.
We have found the following ten steps of self-care to help you regain your confidence:
- Visualise yourself as you want to be: Go back to your story board; your initial 2020 plan. Yes, it has been affected. Yes, it has changed. But you still have a dream and a goal. You have a vision of where you want to be – so, postpone the end date of your goal. Add additional steps to get to that goal – maybe you need soft skills training, maybe you need time to refocus, maybe you need to celebrate achievements. You are still you, with your unique talents and skills. And a dream postponed is not a dream lost. Get that picture back on the wall and start adding new milestones to your plan.
- Affirm yourself and be fearless: Journaling often helps with the process – pick a positive affirmation or statement that describes you or your vision of yourself. And repeat it often so that you again start believing in the power of being you! All of us have been touched in one way or another by this pandemic, but we cannot allow the Corona virus to define us indefinitely. So, get out your journal, acknowledge your fears and then let go of them! We will beat this because we believe we can.
- Do one thing that scares you every day: At the moment, being on a yoga mat or going to a restaurant may be what scares you. Then so be it! But venture out of your comfort zone and do something that gets your blood pumping and that makes you breath faster. And then, once you have completed this challenge, celebrate your victory. Remember, tomorrow needs a new challenge and so we go on – before we know it, a month has passed, and you have climbed a proverbial mountain!
- Question your inner critic: Being within your own space (physically and mentally) can cause the inner critic to thrive! We have no one around to boost us, we may be working in tracksuits and yes, we have all bonded with our fridges and cookie jars during lockdown. There are many things that the inner critic can feast on. I dare you to start questioning the inner critic! Silence that voice that tells you that you have gained weight. Silence the choir telling you that you will never travel again. And tell your inner critic that have used this time to become still, to take time out and to rebuild your inner strength. Tell your inner critic about all things you have managed to complete during this time of reflection and warn the inner voice that you are on your way back!
- Set yourself up to win: Spending time by yourself is the best time to evaluate your current situation and see how that aligns with your vision and future plan. You may have established that there are certain skills and resources you need to achieve your vision for your life – so, get your affairs in order and set yourself up for success. Getting things done is as part of your journey as the end destination. You need to rid yourself of the ball and chain around your feel that keeps holding you back and you need to free yourself up to run!
- Help someone else: It is true that by helping others we feel good about ourselves. This time has provided us with many opportunities to help others, be it with donations of warm clothing, sanitary products, food, or assistance. Maybe you have just been sending a weekly WhatsApp message to the elderly members of your family or maybe you have been visiting the local animal shelter to give their staff a rest. Helping others is one of the easiest ways to build your own confidence.
- Care for yourself: Walk to the nearest mirror, look at yourself and say, “I love you”! Then take a shower, do your hair and make-up, dress up and repeat the mirror exercise. You will see a different image of yourself that you may even love a bit more…. but only when we love ourselves can we love another. Work on your spiritual growth, read good books and what movies that gives a message of hope. Delete your social media profiles if you constantly compare yourself to others…because you are unique. Tell that to the world and see if they can compete with that! Remember, people only share their holidays, new cars, happy family events and events they are proud about – it is not real. Real life happens to us all – we fight, we cry, we laugh, we love. Find happiness in your own space and circumstances and you will see that you have got a lot to be thankful for!
- Get things done: Having unfinished business keeps us back. So, it may be cleaning the linen cupboard or throwing out old love letters. Maybe you still carry a grudge for something that happened a while back – whatever it is, get it done! Sort out, throw out and wipe out! Try to clean your “to do “list weekly. In a few weeks you can sort out your life so that you can focus on the future and not the past. And by staying busy we forget to count the days in lockdown and the number of infections, and we set our target on the day we can resume our lives.
- Exercise: Take a walk. Do yoga. Clean the house. Anything that will help improve your posture, keep your body healthy and in shape and occupy your mind for a while. When we exercise, we feel better. Having a proper posture will also boost your self esteem and confidence as you will walk taller. Your clothes will fit better, also helping you to feel better about yourself. And you will feel less stressed if you have a better posture as well.
- Take the 100 days of rejection challenge: If you want to master rejection, work on repetition. Be repetitive and be consistent. Make sure you are doing the same thing everyday so that soon you will turn those no’s into yes’s. You can turn rejection into an opportunity to learn and an opportunity to grow and do great things. And, with 162 days left in 2020 at time of writing this, you will find that you are almost done with 2020 by the time you have mastered rejection!
Rainer Maria Rilke said “the only journey is the one within” – make it count! Emerge a stronger, more confident woman from all of this. Be the hero in your own story! Remember: We give birth to the future and we make houses homes. We can heal chaffed knees and we will heal ourselves!